This video we collaborated on with Cake Kills in 2015 recently reappeared in my life and is as relevant as ever. Shivers down my spine every time. Swallow is the story of modern heartbreak, the fear of losing ourselves in another, and how we use technology to connect and create barriers.
Dating apps and Facetime have facilitated connection yet the distance between us is larger than ever. The viewer watches through her lover's eyes, observing how a woman sees and presents herself, like a siren luring her audience in, indulging in her own reflection and like a cat turning away once they get too close.
How naturally we veil and guard our hearts, only showing fragments of a true self. Performance versus authenticity. We crave closeness yet once we taste it and sense the danger we turn away, swipe again. Our biggest fear to get engulfed by another and be seen as we are. The walls we build to protect ourselves are the very walls that inadvertently prevent us from truly experiencing the intimacy we so desperately hunger for.
Waiting for that elusive one, trying on different roles, playing different parts in the meantime. Jumping from one lover to the next, one identity to the next. Who is she really? The warrior, the siren, the elf, the child, the seductress, the mother, the virgin, the devil. All facets of the same woman.
This video and song feels so timeless yet from another era because of the personal growth that occurred since. On my journey this past year since I started the self-love project I've learnt so much about how to be with other people by being alone. I've been shown the necessity of putting myself on the line if I even want a chance of it being reciprocated.
Be open to experience, open to heartbreak, open to being hurt.
Self-love is accepting and nurturing all sides of ourselves, it's allowing ourselves to feel it all, the good and the not so good. Without vulnerability we will never get close to having the relationships we seek. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by just showing up as all our selves; naked, open-hearted, raw and beautifully flawed. Letting down the walls and surrendering. Our power is infinite, our soul is infinite, our love is infinite. We don't have to be afraid of sharing it. Without taking that risk, we limit our ability to access the magic and we are refusing to learn or grow. So let's stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zones. Swallow our fears and let the other in. We owe it to ourselves.
Shot + directed + edited by CAKE KILLS!
Music by CAKE KILLS!
Presented by Alice Kass
iPhone 6 "selfie" footage by Virginie Maltais
Cast - Virginie Maltais (Dulcedo Models)
Wardrobe + styling - Alice Kass
Beauty by Jessica Blanche