Ok so this episode is MEGA personal. I've never shared the details of this travel story before although I had a whole self-love story written about it (maybe I should post it now?). It's about the time I casually bought a plane ticket to go on a date with a stranger. A week long roadtrip with a guy I met on a dating app and facetimed with twice before meeting. It was my first 'date' since I quit drinking. INSANITY.
Ok before you think I'm totally messed up, it was not framed as a date but as an adventure (I'm an Aries, ie a sucker for adventures). The guy was well-known in the wellness industry, I had heard several of his interviews on some of my favourite podcasts where he spoke of his business and honestly, he seemed pretty normal and nice.
Without knowing it, Meg and I experienced very similar dating scenarios that took us from Montreal to the two most glamorous cities in the US, NYC and LA. This comfort zone episode is very vulnerable and very valuable as we discover and share the lessons we learnt from ignoring red flags and sacrificing our inner knowing for our thirst for adventure.
Spoiler alert, my dating story left me feeling like total shit but I learnt how important it is to honour myself, my boundaries AND TO USE MY VOICE TO SPEAK UP AND ASK QUESTIONS. Lured by the shine of travel, romance and adventure, Meg and I both struggled with the projection of distorted versions of who we truly are and learnt the hard way of the importance of honouring our values, boundaries and truth. On the upside, I grew SO much from the experience and am grateful for the lesson and just wish I could hug that girl I used to be who was so unsure of herself and how to speak up.
The harsh reality is, when you jump off a cliff, someone isn’t always there to catch you; but by incorporating self-love tools you can catch yourself. The most important thing you can pack on your adventures? Your emotional safety net (we talk more on that in the episode!)
When you find yourself in a situation where you want to stretch beyond your comfort zone to learn and grow but also want to make sure you're in alignment with your values, ask yourself:
- How does this decision feel in my body?
Check in with yourself and your intuition. Your body holds wisdom and gives you so many clues to what is right for you. Be gentle and don't force yourself too far beyond your limits, baby steps!!
Am I ignoring any red flags because of ego?
Are you being lured by surface glitz and how it will look to others? It's important to be aware of whether your motivation is external or internal. Still go ahead with the experience if you want, but more often than not if it's externally motivated it doesn't end pretty but at least with the awareness, you'll grow from it.
- Am I rationalizing with my mind about why I should or should not do this?
If you have to convince yourself or make excuses, it's usually a no go. The difference between fear and intuition is often how much you find yourself rationalizing. Intuition tends to be your first gut feeling, the first impression you got from your body.
If the decision involves another person, can you communicate your concerns clearly and share where you feel afraid? If you can't or they reject your vulnerability, take it as a sign that you aren't ready to go forward with it or that they aren't the right person for you. The right person for the adventure won't be turned off by your desire to share and express yourself!!
Enjoy the episode, hope you learnt a ton and that you took something from our mishaps :) Listen to the episode on iTunes and Spotify now and if you like what you hear, rate, subscribe and share on Instagram, we really appreciate all the love and support.